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NOT ONLINE Sholly73

Sholly73 has been a member since 11/9/05 and was last logged in on 10/2/18

The Man Rules 11/20/09 1:09 AM

We always hear about "The Rules" from the female side...Well, these are our rules!

Please note: They're all numbered 1 on purpose!

1. Men are NOT mind readers. (First and foremost rule)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let me be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how best to do it, then just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. All men see in only 16 colors, like the Windows default setting. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have NO idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it WILL be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you're prepared to discuss such topics as football or hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I AM in shape. Round is a shape!

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know that men really don't mind that? It's kinda like camping.

Comments

  • moxie612

    putting the seat and lid back down is just...neater. Keeps the cats out, too


    Yeah, but that's so much work :P

  • pinkscootie

    omg, i didnt get past the first two number ones....regarding the toilet seat sholly, .....just let me say that the guys are not the ones that fall in when trying to pee in the dark! If it were a fair exchange i could work with it, ... but......


    Sure, you can fall in, but we can get caught in our zipper. I think that evens it out, and it's also why I wear sweats around the house.

  • selby0700

    I'll remember all of the above in my next relationship. Why did I not figure this out ages ago. Thanx for helping us girls out. LOL

  • windyice

    Superb work! But if I may add, if any of these are misunderstood refer to "number 1".

  • playpinball

    Great Job, i relate to all of them. Great work!! Bill

  • msvonne

    Well done Sholl, tips to live by.