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NOT ONLINE balroc45

balroc45 has been a member since 8/8/05 and was last logged in on 3/15/13

Calling All You Christmas shoppers 12/11/09 11:55 AM

As we all know, Yuletide is a time for giving....and receiving. It's a time of Good Cheer, a time to make peace with those we have upset or have been upset by. The very air that we breathe is thick with optimism for the year to come. That is why we must choose our gifts carefully, with no malice aforethought.

That is why I would think twice before wrapping some of THESE rascals up....

1. The Edward Scissorhands Unsightly Hair Remover (made to make your eyes water. NEVER attach this to a car battery before use).

2. Karen Carpenter's Guide To Healthy Eating (well, it worked for HER, didn't it?).

3. Pairs of socks for one - legged men (funnily enough, these could be two presents for the price of one).

4. Memory sticks for Alzheimer sufferers (they'll forget where they put them).

5. A boxed set of every series of "The Wire" (assuming that the intended recipient is a drug dealing friend of yours).

6. Donations to Donkey Sanctuaries (Blackpool Beach needs all the donkies it can get - after all, they ARE beasts of burden).

7. Statues of "Sporting Jesus" ( here's the link....be afraid. www.catholicshopper.com)

8. "Guess The Weight Of Jordan's Breasts" (this is a tactile game, not to be let loose upon children. Scales incuded).

9. The Hannibal Lecter Recipe Book (for those who can't even handle basic everyday dishes)

10. As per usual, this one is down to you lot. For the most inventive there is a special Xmas prize of a fond thought from me for a fleeting second.

Festive greetings to you all. ;o)

Comments

  • flower76

    thankyou bal for the sporting jesus statues, they are cheesemungus.

  • amyb88

    a cliff richards greatest hits collection with bonus dvd.

  • amyb88

    marriage advice from tiger woods

  • GoatWillow

    An Abu-Hamza shaped Ladyshave. ;)

  • alotudo

    Sun tan lotion for a vampire. Shaving cream and a razor for a mummy (don't say I need it more...I know what you are thinking).

  • Ann_Grodan

    A keyring which whistle when you call to it, given to a deaf guy, mittens given to someone without thumbs, a fishin'rod to someone who lives in the woods... wanna have more ideas of really bad gifts??


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