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NOT ONLINE comgame

comgame has been a member since 2/2/10 and was last logged in on 10/26/21

Oᑭᕮᑎ ᕼOᑌᔕᕮ ᗩᒪᒪ ᗩᖇᕮ ᗯᕮᒪᑕOᗰᕮ 6/11/16 5:04 PM

ᔕIᒪᙓ’ᔕ ᗩᒪTᙓᖇᑎᗩTIᐯᙓ ᑎOᑎ ᖴOOᒪᔕ ᙖᒪOᘜ


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Hi all I am giving up with the comm blog as I think everyone’s fed up with my type of humour, I have been flogging a dead horse for what feels like months now and I have finally thrown in the towel! The reason mainly is because any time recently I tried to lighten the blog someone instantly comes back with a negative comment or ignore the post completely, I thought it was a coincidence at first but then it happened again and again, The final straw obviously was to do with the gooner issue and to be berated for ‘doing nothing’ Just because I didn’t join in on the comm blog does not mean I was doing nothing, my conscience is perfectly clear on that one! So I have decided to take heed and head for the hills, or at least my own blog so here I am. Everyone is welcome here but I will edit any comments that I think are inflammatory or just plain nasty! Apart from that anything goes. Question Query joke story or just a good old chin wag its entirely up to you. You could of course say nothing at all and just read, whatever floats your boat is fine by me.. So lets go …………..

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A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again.
The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised, says "Yes! How did you figure that out?"
"Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love.
After they have done, the girl says, "You must be a good dentist."
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, how did you figure that out?"

"Didn't feel a thing!"



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Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, "I need to be honest with you, I'm getting a boob job."
The second woman says, "Oh that's nothing, I'm thinking of having my ahole bleached!"
To which the first replies, "Whoa, I just can't picture your husband as a blonde!"



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A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.

The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three... You only get one wish!"

The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible!!! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete -- how much steel!! No, think of another wish."

The man said "OK, I will try to think of a really good wish". Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women, know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment, know why they're crying, know what they really want when they say "nothing," know how to make them truly happy."

The genie said, "Do you want that bridge to be two lanes or four?"

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"Hello. Tech Support; may I help you?" "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?" "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?" "They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" "Nothing."

"Nothing?" "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?" "How do I tell?"

[Uh-oh. Well, let's give it a try anyway.] "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?" "What's a sea-prompt?"

[Uh-huh, thought so. Let's try a different tack.] "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

[Ah--at least she knows what a cursor is. Sounds like a hardware problem. I wonder if she's kicked out hisher monitor's power plug?]

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?" "What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" "I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?" [sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] "Yes, I think so."

"Great! Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." [pause] "Yes, it is."

[Hmm. Well, that's interesting. I doubt she would have accidentally turned it off, and I don't want to send himher hunting for the power switch because I don't know what kind of monitor she has and it's bound to have more than one switch on it. Maybe the video cable is loose or something.] "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." [muffled] "Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." [still muffled] "I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?" [clear again] "No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle--it's because it's dark."

"Dark?" "Yes--the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then." "I can't."

"No? Why not?" "Because there's a power outage."

"A power--!?!" ...[AAAAAAARGH!]"A power outage? Aha! Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good! Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?" "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're TOO STUPID TO OWN A COMPUTER!"


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So that’s it from me now it’s up to you, whether it’s a joke or story or a question mi casa es su casa slainte Sile ❤



Ƭнє тσηgυє нαѕ ησ вσηєѕ, вυт ιт ιѕ ѕтяσηg єησυgн тσ вяєαк α нєαят! Sσ вє cαяєƒυℓ ωιтн уσυя ωσя∂ѕ


¤ª“˜¨¨¯¯¨¨˜“ª¤.ڰۣஐڿڰۣ.¤ª“˜¨¨¯¯¨¨˜“ª¤..

Comments

  • Ms.poor

    Yeeea my new Fav pub, gin an bitter lemon and here's to you Sile darlin. Hope you r havin a gorgeous day and that yr face hurts from laughing. xxxxxfrom me an my lot xxxx


    The day isn't finished yet hun, but I am having a ball thanks, your drinks are just coming ((hugs)) xxx

  • jemjackie

    Happy Birthday my friend, Hope you've had the bestest bartender..ooops sorry! the bestest birthday filled with all good things, you deserve it all. Love and big (((hugs))) Jem xXx


    The night is still young lol :))) Now for some education >> GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa: half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful. Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe: well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.. Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain: very hot, relaxed, and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece: gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain: with a glorious and all conquering past. Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel: has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business. Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada : self- preserving, but open to meeting new people. After 70, she becomes Tibet: wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages, an adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge. GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN Between 1 and 90, a man is like Iran , ruled by nuts. THE END.

  • ewo59

    Hi Sile, popped over to wish you! *HAPPY BIRTHDAY* Hope you had a wonderful day with family & friends! Go easy on the Guinness I still got that barrel you sent me! LOL I would also like to thank you for all the help you gave me in pastime here! You will be missed by many on main blog... ჱܓჱܓჱܓ xx


    Thank you and you are welcome hun, Best you tap that keg soon hun or it will be off lol :)))

  • Bumpacas1

    Hello, I heard tell of an alternative blog/pub and had to have a looksee. What a fine place you have here. Many happy returns, Phil.


    Thank you hun and hope you have many happy returns too, you are more thank welcome :))) Oh did you hear about A lady who was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. She asked them, 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?' 'NO!' the children answered. 'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?' Again, the answer was 'No!' At that point the lady was starting to smile. 'Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweeties to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?' Again, they all answered 'No!'. she was just bursting with pride for them. Then continued, ' Then how can I get into heaven?' A six year-old boy shouted out "YUV GOTTA BE FecKN' DEAD....

  • Wiperstalk

    Sometimes in life,you run into people who change your life immensely for the better~~~~~these people are called BARTENDERS. ;-}


    especially these ones lol >> http://prntscr.com/bh8ibd << :)))

  • Wiperstalk

    Another year sexier. Happy Birthday Sile,have a ball honey. Dumps and a big wink from Nell ;-} X


    Oh thanks hun ((hugs)) back at yer :))) x


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