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NOT ONLINE doreneh923

doreneh923 has been a member since 12/5/07 and was last logged in on 2/27/13

4 new jokes to enjoy 8/26/11 2:38 AM

A study has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire. No further studies are expected on this subject.

A Pickle, a cucumber & a penis were talking about life. The cucumber said when i get big & hard they chop me up & toss me in a salad. The pickle said when i get big & hard they chop me & drown me in vinegar. The penis said that is nothing compared to what i'm going through, when i get big & hard they put a plastic bag over my head & put me in a dark damp cave & bang my head against the walls until i throw up and faint.

LIFE BEFORE THE COMPUTER ... Memory was something you lost with Age ... An Application was for Employment ... A program was a TV show ... A Cursor used profanity ... A Keyboard was a piano ... A Web was a spider's home ... A Virus was the Flu ... A Hard Drive was a long trip on the road ... A Mouse was something the Cat chased ... And if you had a "" 3 INCH FLOPPY "" ... YOU just hoped NOBODY found out!!! LOL

I recently visited a mental asylum & I asked the director, "How can you know when a person needs to be institutionalized?" He said, "Well, we fill a bathtub with water & we offer them a teaspoon, a teacup & a bucket... & ask them to empty the tub." I said, "I see..a normal person would choose the bucket because it is bigger." He responded, "No. A normal person would pull the plug.would you like a bed by the window?