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NOT ONLINE kkaylo

kkaylo has been a member since 4/1/09 and was last logged in on 4/11/14

In A Perfect World 5/24/11 10:09 PM

I can't play well because I'm so tired. I'm tired because I can't sleep. I can't sleep because I'm worried. I'm worried because Ron's surgery is a week away. I try to slow down time but it speeds along. I try to think positively but fear overwhelms me. I give my fears to God but then I take them back.
My emotions are in turmoil. When I laugh it turns to tears. When I pray it turns to anger. When I try to hold myself together I simply fall apart.
So this is where I come to make it go away. This is my perfect world. Beautiful and serene. Peaceful and painless. Tranquility. This is my fantasy where Ron still has his legs and we stroll together hand in hand through the garden of life as it should be. This is where we arrive in our carriage of dreams and dance together in the moonlight. The animals graze and gently sway to the music we create, testifying that there is a better world. A world without suffering and pain. A world filled with peace and love and happiness.
So this is where I go to play but I can't play because I'm so very tired....

Comments

  • DawnIsaacsYuma

    God said, Dawn Marie, get to Tucson! He cut off my internet access in Yuma! As if you didn't have enough probs now you've got me in your guest room! Dear friends feel free to contact me any time and I'll try to keep everyone informed. In the mean time let's all PRAY!!!! Dawn Marie

  • notslar

    Kathleen you bring tears to my eyes just reading your words I wish there was a way I could lift your spirits and try to make everything alright I hope & pray all goes well on surgery day I am sure God will be a merciful one for you both you two deserve it royally KEEP HAPPY THOUGHTS love, Roberta x

  • audiomom

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and Ron Kathleen. Whatever happens is meant to be, and you worrying wont change it. God has a plan and you just have to trust that his decision is the best for Ron whatever the outcome. I will pray for you both. Your friend, Patty

  • ac68kr

    God will answer your prayers.My Mom was told today she is Cancer Free. Prayers Do get answered. Put yourself and Ron in GOD'S HANDS.My prayers and postive thoughts will be with you both. GOD BLESS Big Hugs Kathy

  • KCKASU

    Im sorry I cant be there to hold your hand. But know in your heart my heart is there with you both. You can call if you need a friend my dear. Love you both xoxox Denise

  • ArizonaGirl2

    Kathleen, I love you and Ron so much. I feel your pain. I read your words and my heart breaks. God has Ron's back and He loves you both. Ron is my hero and you are my beautiful sister. Use Dad's hands to pray, you know you have his hands. The words are hard to find but I hold you and Ron close. LSM