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Paralyzed 6/21/11 11:52 PM
Well, the ventilator is still on in fact it's on 100 %. When I got to the hosptial this morning Ron was very depressed. His nurse told me that for some reason he couldn't breath today even with the ventilator doing some of the work. His lungs are filling up with fluid so they are planning another bronchoscopy tomorrow. This is just another temporary setback. I couldn't get Ron to cheer up for anything though. All day he was quiet. Said a few times he just wanted to go home. Then finally this afternoon he asked me for the dry erase board. He wrote on it "I am paralyzed."
I couldn't believe it. I thought it was a really bad joke. But I started pinching him all over below the abdomen and he couldn't feel a thing. I asked him to try to move his legs and he couldn't. I won't go into what a nightmarish afternoon it became, but I will tell you that Ron is definitely paralyzed from the waist down. There is a very slight chance that it could be temporary, but I stress, as his doctor did with me that is a VERY slight chance. Most likely it is permanent. I watched them cut both groin incisions wide open today in an attempt to get them to heal and Ron did not feel a thing. They also cut his left chest open again (about 4 inches deep) and And his face told me very clearly that he felt that. So, he's back on the ventilator 100%, His lungs are filling up with fluid, He has a pressure sore on his lower back and bottom the size of a dinner plate and so deep it looks like a monster took a huge bite out of his back. Three of his four incisions are opened up again and healing is starting all over AND he's paralyzed from the waist down. No wonder he just wants to come home. As for me, I am angry. I want to scream Until my voice is gone. I'm sad. I want to sob until I have no more tears. I'm confused. I want to question God and make Him explain to me how He can allow one person to suffer so much. I can't stand seeing him go through all this. He already fought for his life and survived. Whats next??
I couldn't believe it. I thought it was a really bad joke. But I started pinching him all over below the abdomen and he couldn't feel a thing. I asked him to try to move his legs and he couldn't. I won't go into what a nightmarish afternoon it became, but I will tell you that Ron is definitely paralyzed from the waist down. There is a very slight chance that it could be temporary, but I stress, as his doctor did with me that is a VERY slight chance. Most likely it is permanent. I watched them cut both groin incisions wide open today in an attempt to get them to heal and Ron did not feel a thing. They also cut his left chest open again (about 4 inches deep) and And his face told me very clearly that he felt that. So, he's back on the ventilator 100%, His lungs are filling up with fluid, He has a pressure sore on his lower back and bottom the size of a dinner plate and so deep it looks like a monster took a huge bite out of his back. Three of his four incisions are opened up again and healing is starting all over AND he's paralyzed from the waist down. No wonder he just wants to come home. As for me, I am angry. I want to scream Until my voice is gone. I'm sad. I want to sob until I have no more tears. I'm confused. I want to question God and make Him explain to me how He can allow one person to suffer so much. I can't stand seeing him go through all this. He already fought for his life and survived. Whats next??
My Dear Friend, God has not left you & Ron.He is there with you. Prayers & postive thoughts are being sent your way. Dear GOD reach your loving Hands down and help Ron. He needs to feel your arms around him.In your name we pray Amen. Hugs Kathy
Dear Kathleen, My heart is with you and Ron. I understand how hard it is and offer my prayers, love and support. I know it is hard and I admire your strength. Try to rest and take care of yourself as well. Huggggssss
Dearest Kathleen! I know You want to Crie & Scream, but Pray Hun!! The Good LORD works in Mysteries Ways! Have Faith not fear as Yonanny says! WE ALL are here for You Darlin' don't give Up, be His Strength! Prayer Chain Started Hun! Luv Ya & GOD BLESS!
oo my poor sweet kathleen ..i dont can fpond the good words, lots of strength for you and your hubby.in this soo difficult time.we think and pray for you. all my love for you.big hugs and xxxxx
KATHLEEN WE ARE HEAR AN WE HEAR YOUR FEAR PRAYERS WILL BE STARTED AGAIN IN EARNEST ..BUT FEAR NOT GOD WILL OVERCOME HE HAS BROUGHT RON THIS FAR FAITH WILL BRING HIM HOME..FEEL THE LOVE COMING YOUR WAY ..ITS A HEALIING LOVE FOR YOU BOTH .GOD 'S WILL BE DONE AMEN
My sissy--I hear your fear and I am crying and feeling it with you--I prayed before I wrote this and the answer came--FEAR IS THE OPPOSITE OF FAITH and God can't work without FAITH-- as long as there is LIFE then there is HOPE and HOPE with FAITH COMES HEALING and GOD WORKS SUDDENLY AND HE WILL TOO