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NOT ONLINE kkaylo

kkaylo has been a member since 4/1/09 and was last logged in on 4/11/14

This Is Dedicated To You My King Sisters and Brothers 7/9/11 4:44 PM

Thursday night Ron was transferred to Kindred Hospital. It is a small facility known for it's wound care and respiratory teams. The goal is to heal his wounds and lungs, slowly build up his upper body strength to deal with the paralysis and help him make a smooth transition to home when his body is ready. This is a huge milestone and I am so happy knowing this is his last stop before finally coming home. They put a bed in his room for me to sleep in, but the hospital noises and nightly interruptions made it impossible for me to sleep. Ron can tune it out because he's so used to it, but not me. After 2 days without sleep, I fell into a deep depression. I couldn't snap out of it. I felt guilty because all I could do was cry and feel sad when I should be happy at his progress. I felt useless because he is surrounded by people who are helping him now more than ever and I just seemed to be in the way. I felt angry at Ron for snapping at me several times and seeming not to appreciate anything I have been through. He was rarely talking to me, just staring into space or at the t.v. and I was hurting so deeply I just had to leave yesterday, hardly even saying good-by to him.
So I came here looking for solace and trying to make sense out of why I was feeling so down. Shouldn't this be one of our happier times? I wrote to some of you who were online and as always received an abundance of love, support and prayers. You lifted me up enough to make me realize I am not alone in any way and I never have been through this whole ordeal. I started last night reading my blog from the beginning when Ron was first hospitalized back in October. From the moment we found out that his aneurysm was growing and required a surgery that he most likely couldn't survive, you, my King friends have been my source of strength and comfort. You have all prayed me through this, you have lifted me and Ron up to God in prayer when we couldn't pray for ourselves. Through all the ups and downs when I wanted to just give up, when Ron was hanging on by a thread, you all were our lifelines. Your prayers, your faith, your confidence in God and the human spirit never once quit on us. You've been there through it all with us, cried with us, rejoiced with us.
Reading back in time has helped me see how how far we have really come. It has helped me realize that Ron and I are both human and very frail at times, but God has provided the source for our renewal. He provided it through all of you who refused to give up, who persistently lifted us up to Him in prayer. How can I say thank you to such a group of people as you? Most of you don't even know me or Ron personally, but you have been there for us like family. I love you all like my own sisters and brothers and will forever be grateful that my loving Father in Heaven has blessed me with my King family (God being the King.)
I am feeling better after reading my blog and all your responses from beginning to end. I'm ready to go back to the hospital and care for Ron in any way I can, to continue in our quest to get him home as soon as possible and to understand how much he is still suffering. I know he needs me. I know I need him. 1 + 1= 1. That will never change. We are one. We are in this together. This last phase of our journey, I dedicate to all of you, my "King" friends. Thank you all for proving to me that God is faithful no matter what, that prayer IS the answer, and that friends are a gift from God. I love you and appreciate you ALL so very much. Always, your Sister in Christ, Kathleen

Comments

  • pammie29907

    KATHLEEN YOU AND RON HAVE GONE THRU A LOT TOGETHER, TRIALS AND ILLNESS IS HARD ON BOTH OF YOU NOT JUST 1. SOMETIMES I THINK IT EASIER TO BE THE ONE IN PAIN, NOT THE ONE WHO HAS TO WATCH THE SUFFERING OF A LOVE ONE! LOVE YOU BOTH AND WILL CONTINUE TO KEEP YOU IN MY PRAYERS. HUGS PAMMIE

  • yonanny50

    CRYING--HURTING--WANTING TO HELP MORE--WANTING TO COMFORT-AND ALL I CAN SAY IS I'LL BE FOREVER PRAYING AND LOVING YOU BOTH AS FAMILY--I'LL BE HERE WHENEVER YOU NEED ME AS ALWAYS---OH YEAH, WALMART SELLS EARPLUGS TOO---LUVYA'LL---VICTORIA

  • ac68kr

    God never gives us more then what He knows we can handle.He is always there even when we dont think He is. I am honored to be able to help you & Ron see & feel God is always with you.You have many sisters & brothers who will always be here for the both of you. God Bless you both. Love Kathy

  • wakewitch

    KATHLEEN SOME TIMES NEED TO LOOK BEHIND US TO SEE THE JOURNEY WE HAVE MADE I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES AN A LUMP IN MY THROAT AFTER READING THIS RE ENFORCES WHAT I KNOW IN MY HEART GOD LOVES US ALL AN WILL CARRYS US WHEN NEEDED..WE ARE ONE FAMILY IN HIS NAME...LOVE , MAGGIE

  • bzolla

    Nice to hear joy in your voice again. Faith is hard sometimes. Glad I could be there for ya. You have always been there for me and I appreciate it. Last year I was sooooo sick and you and many others kept me going. I love you both as family. Many hugs, Bobby xxoo P.S. Still praying like crazy!!!


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