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NOT ONLINE kkaylo

kkaylo has been a member since 4/1/09 and was last logged in on 4/11/14

A Blessed Christmas To All Of You 12/19/11 1:28 PM

This holiday season has been a very sad time for me. I miss Ron more than you could ever imagine and with his birthday coming up the day after Christmas I've wondered how I would get through without completely falling apart. But Ron spoke to me this week in his own crazy way. He told me to "Cowboy Up." As long as I've known Ron, that has been his favorite phrase and he lived by it...... " When life gets you down then it's time to cowboy up. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps and just keep on keeping on." That was Ron in every way. But I had forgotten. I've been dwelling so much on my own loss, being overwhelmed with sorrow and unable to move on with life. I was going through Ron's drawers a couple of days ago just weeping at the memories of things he had saved, things that were important to him. I was literally crying like a baby and began closing up his drawers and putting it off for yet another day. But suddenly I felt comforted by his presence. He didn't say anything, but I knew he was in the room with me. I felt compelled to open one more drawer and as I did, right on top was his very favorite tee-shirt. A cowboy on a bronco saying "Cowboy up!" Oh my gosh...I knew Ron was talking to me. I knew he was telling me to get a grip, that he didn't want me living with sorrow and regret. That he is happy now and no longer suffering and he wants the same for me. What an awakening it was for me. Like someone threw cold water in my face. I hadn't even thought about how my sadness and depression could be effecting Ron. But he got through to me. He gave me the greatest Christmas present he possibly could... A sense of joy. A feeling of well-being. A reminder that because of Christ and everything He did for us from the day of his birth, I Will be reunited with Ron and all my loved ones someday. Heaven is a reality. It's a place we all, who believe, will get to go to someday and all of our tears will be wiped away. Perfect peace and joy will abound. Ron has come to me in my dreams now for the past 3 nights. He is whole (all 6'4") and he is happy. He's wearing his favorite black Stetson and he looks so handsome. He just keeps saying to me "Cowboy up, baby. Cowboy up. Everything will be alright." He has eased my sadness in such a profound way. Now I am looking forward to celebrating the birth of Christ, our Savior on Dec. 25th. I also look forward to celebrating the birth of my beautiful husband on Dec. 26th. I know he will be celebrating in Heaven. May you all have a holiday filled with love, with family, and with a knowledge that Jesus was God incarnate. He came into this world as a baby, lived a sinless life and died on the cross to save all of us. To provide a way for us to reach Heaven and spend eternity with those we love so dearly. God bless all of my "kingdom" friends and family at Christmas and always. With so much love for all of you, Kathleen.
P.S. I put my cowboy hat back on to show Ron and everyone else that I am going to "cowboy up" and celebrate this holiday season and look forward to a new year filled with joy. Love, Kathleen

Comments

  • audiomom

    Merry Christmas Kathleen. My thoughts are with you this holiday season. xox Patty

  • NurseScotty

    I felt the holy spirit touch me as I read your precious story about Ron. I truly had goose pimples on both arms & my eyes welled up with tears of joy & happiness, not sadness for you Kathleen. God has sent the comforter & has given you the peace that Ron wants for you. Praise Jesus & God Bless You

  • j8d

    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING YOUR GRIEF WITH US. YOU ARE A VERY BRAVE & HONEST WOMAN.I LOST MY BROTHER ON CHRISTMAS DAY MANY YEARS AGO SO CELEBRATE WITH MIXED EMOTIONS. ALL OUR LOST LOVED ONES ARE IN OUR HEARTS FOREVER JEAN X X X

  • notslar

    Hi Kathleen so glad to hear from you again I am so happy your coming to terms with your life since you lost your beloved I wish you all Happiness for the Holidays and every day take good care of yourself xoxoxoxo :) Roberta

  • pammie29907

    I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU KATHLEEN! WE ALL GREIVE IN DIFF. WAYS GUESS RON NEEDED TO GIVE YOU A WAKE UP CALL SO HE COULD REST IN PEACE. SO COWBOY UP AND REMENBER YOU WILL BE TOGETHER AGAIN LUV YOU GIRL Ƹ̵Ӝ̵Ʒ♥♥ PAMMIE ♥♥Ƹ̵Ӝ̵Ʒ

  • tuneout

    Thank you Kathleen. I'm so happy Ron is dropping in from time to time; God is faithful and knows the desire of our heart. PS December 25 was the conception of Christ; study Luke. The true beginning of life and light in the world. Love you, Sharon