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NOT ONLINE kkaylo

kkaylo has been a member since 4/1/09 and was last logged in on 4/11/14

No Tears in Heaven 4/10/12 7:17 AM

It's 3:00 AM and as usual, I can't sleep. I've gone to bed 3 times. Turned the lights out, cuddled up to Ron's pillow, tossed and turned, turned the light back on, read a book, talked to God, talked to Ron, talked to my Dad. But nobody answers. I picture them all looking down at me from Heaven, shaking their heads and wondering "why can't she get it together?" I cry a little, but I know in my heart I've got it all wrong. Those are my own thoughts, my own doubts coming through. At times like this, I question why....Why can't I work through this sadness? Why can't I find joy in my life? Why do I keep going back and asking God why? And again, in my heart, I know the answer. Sometimes life just hurts. We've all been there at one time or another. I think it happens in waves...like the tides of the ocean. The pain of loss, or sickness, or heartache comes in and washes over us. We feel like we're going to drown in it. Like we're suffocating. But just when we think we can't take any more, the waves wash back to sea and we can breathe again. We can see the sun shining down on us and we take joy in that. We feel refreshed, clean, brand new. There's a lightness in our steps and a brightness in our eyes. For awhile, we are renewed. But will it last forever? No... not in this life. Not in this world. Because this world is not what we were created for. This world is temporary. There's a better world waiting for us. A gentle, peaceful place, where some of our loved ones have already gone and where they wait for us to join them someday. It's a Kingdom far more beautiful than any of the gorgeous kingdoms you see here at King.com. We try to create a virtual fantasy as we design our kingdoms here and we make them beautiful in our own eyes. But the Kingdom of Heaven outshines all of them combined. Because it was created by the Master Artist, the author of design. It is a place unlike anything we could ever begin to imagine and best of all, there are no tears in Heaven. No sadness, no sorrow, no shame, no fear, no regrets. And no loss. So when we are going through the tides of life, when we feel like we're drowning all we can do is wait for the tide to recede. Know that it will. Know that the sun will come out tomorrow. And know this especially...that someday, we'll get to ride that giant wave all the way to the Kingdom of God where we will spend eternity. And think about this...Eternity. In comparison to eternity, this life we live now is like one single grain of sand on the entire sea shore...but a speck that gets tossed about by the waves of time. Eternity is the ocean, this life is the grain of sand. I know where I'm spending eternity. Faith is believing that which you cannot see. I can't see Heaven but I believe it exists. I can't see God but I know His love. I can't reach out and touch my husband or my Dad, but I know they are alive. Sometimes I can't sleep, but I know it will come eventually. Right now, the wave is retreating. I am beginning to drift. I am at peace again. Thank you God!

Comments

  • tuneout

    Your journey in God's healing of your loss takes time. He only allows us to feel and mourn in small doses. His strength comes to us in this valley of weeping each time we give from our loss to comfort another; the well we make in our valley, God fills with rain and blesses us. Love you, Sharon