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No Tears in Heaven 4/10/12 7:17 AM
It's 3:00 AM and as usual, I can't sleep. I've gone to bed 3 times. Turned the lights out, cuddled up to Ron's pillow, tossed and turned, turned the light back on, read a book, talked to God, talked to Ron, talked to my Dad. But nobody answers. I picture them all looking down at me from Heaven, shaking their heads and wondering "why can't she get it together?" I cry a little, but I know in my heart I've got it all wrong. Those are my own thoughts, my own doubts coming through. At times like this, I question why....Why can't I work through this sadness? Why can't I find joy in my life? Why do I keep going back and asking God why? And again, in my heart, I know the answer. Sometimes life just hurts. We've all been there at one time or another. I think it happens in waves...like the tides of the ocean. The pain of loss, or sickness, or heartache comes in and washes over us. We feel like we're going to drown in it. Like we're suffocating. But just when we think we can't take any more, the waves wash back to sea and we can breathe again. We can see the sun shining down on us and we take joy in that. We feel refreshed, clean, brand new. There's a lightness in our steps and a brightness in our eyes. For awhile, we are renewed. But will it last forever? No... not in this life. Not in this world. Because this world is not what we were created for. This world is temporary. There's a better world waiting for us. A gentle, peaceful place, where some of our loved ones have already gone and where they wait for us to join them someday. It's a Kingdom far more beautiful than any of the gorgeous kingdoms you see here at King.com. We try to create a virtual fantasy as we design our kingdoms here and we make them beautiful in our own eyes. But the Kingdom of Heaven outshines all of them combined. Because it was created by the Master Artist, the author of design. It is a place unlike anything we could ever begin to imagine and best of all, there are no tears in Heaven. No sadness, no sorrow, no shame, no fear, no regrets. And no loss. So when we are going through the tides of life, when we feel like we're drowning all we can do is wait for the tide to recede. Know that it will. Know that the sun will come out tomorrow. And know this especially...that someday, we'll get to ride that giant wave all the way to the Kingdom of God where we will spend eternity. And think about this...Eternity. In comparison to eternity, this life we live now is like one single grain of sand on the entire sea shore...but a speck that gets tossed about by the waves of time. Eternity is the ocean, this life is the grain of sand. I know where I'm spending eternity. Faith is believing that which you cannot see. I can't see Heaven but I believe it exists. I can't see God but I know His love. I can't reach out and touch my husband or my Dad, but I know they are alive. Sometimes I can't sleep, but I know it will come eventually. Right now, the wave is retreating. I am beginning to drift. I am at peace again. Thank you God!
Kathleen~I've always thought Mom & Dad picked out a beautiful name for you, sis. As I read your words about waves and the ocean, I wonder if you realize the origin of your name. Did you know that "Kathleen" means "pure water" in the Greek? You have so much heart & soul, & you have the ocean. ~LSM~
Very touching Kathleen. You know, I watch Long Island Medium on TLC. I cry every time but makes me feel good to know that my loved ones are always around me. I believe they are.
Thank you Kathleen, so beautifully written & your words say it all. I feel your sadness, pain & joy. So thankful we have God's promise to keep close in our hearts that someday in his time, all believers will be together again! God Bless you Sweetie
but..we must go on..stay who we are.. and always remember our lost ones.. lots of strength for you. all my love for you.big hugs and xxxxxxxx
my so dear sweet kathleen..how a wonderfull blog..you know?? our love ones..who are passed away..are gone..but never forgetten isnt??? they live in our hearts..and we love them..some days .we can handle it good.and some days.we cry...and yes..live hurt,,missing sweet people hurt>>>
How beautifully you express your feelings. Those we have lost are always close to our hearts. Your pain will abate & your faith will help you. God bless you Kathleen , Jean x x x