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NOT ONLINE ms.lu1919

ms.lu1919 has been a member since 7/27/07 and was last logged in on 10/13/18

WELCOME TO THE ROVING CLUBHOUSE. 5/3/12 3:44 PM

Welcome eveyone to the Roving Clubhouse. It's good to see you all.

You can roam around in the clubhouse and gather together with friends, grab a drink or two, munch on the mexican food snacks I made for you, play cards, no gambling though, enter the billiard room, go swimming, or use the sauna, What ever suits your fancy. Just kick back and enjoy yourselves and let loose.

This world is like a rambling bush getting blown away. Just like I will if I drank to much. So, I thought perhaps you would just like to kick back and have a few laughs.

Have at it everybody and enjoy!


JOHNNY PARKS HIS CAR

Little Johnny awoke one night to hear strange noises coming from his parents bedroom. When he opened the door his dad was on his mom naked . He said"Dad what are you and mom doing? His dad told him "I'm parking my car in yours mom's garage. Go back to bed."

Well the next day, the girl next door came over to play with johnny. He said " I have a new game for us to play." what's it called the girl replied . It's called parking the car . Wanna try it he said. Sure said the little girl.

Well Johnny tells her how to play and they get off to a good start. A few minutes later all you can here is little Johnny screaming . His mom rushes into the room and says" what the hell is going on here? . The girl tries her best to explain. She said "You see we were playing park the car and johnny got his car all most all the way in. The back tires wouldnt fit so I cut them off.

FIRST TIME CUSSERS

A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell and you say ass. "OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old,
and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?
"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"

MIKE IS DEAD
Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"
"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."

"What a horrible way to die!"
"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."

"What a way to go, that's terrible!"
"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."
"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"

"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."

"Man, what a way to go!"
"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."

"Now that is one awful way to go!"
"No no, he survived that..."

"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"
"I shot him!"

"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"
"He was wrecking my house"!

Comments

  • histryda

    for some reason didn't even suspend, let alone move toward expulsion. made us apologize next day to every class. after we got standing ovations in first two for "unauthorized declaration of a minimum day" they halted the charade. will have to tell you about arranging fidel castro's visit to lowell!


    Your were such a helliun!!! HA! It's no wonder teachers don't trust the kids anymore. See what you started dude, Knowing you now, you loved every minute of it. Now you've got me wondering about arranging Fidel Castro's visit to Lowell! What's the scoop poop?

  • histryda

    who's going to lowell next year (the district-wide academic high school). i'm the only one to raise my hand. well ur not going any more! shite! my local high school had just lost its accredidation! angry tirade about undermining authority. lots of yes sirs as we took ownership of each of the steps.

  • 21balloonz

    @bj, Oh, I don't know... I never minded the dresses so much as the panties... THOSE just felt wicked somehow...


    My friend Gloria said last week that her mother told her she was a helliun when she was little, Gloria got tired of boys looking up her dress as she climbed the monkey bars, So she thought, I'll fix them! She went to school w/out undies.Shocked the hell out of them. They never looked again.

  • histryda

    principal finally arrived late morning. day was belatedly saved. where's dennis and greg, the usual suspects (tim wasn't on their radar). ushered into principal's office. jugular vein scarily vibrating. depest shade of purple. tried to threaten us.

  • histryda

    we kindly explained that a critical district-level meeting in downtown san francisco necessitated a minimum day with new bell schedule. unbeknowst to us, principal was out. pandemonium ensued. pa announcements. office overriding bell schedule. cafeteria workers distraught over thawed food!

  • histryda

    a couple buddies and i typed up a memorandum from the principal using carbon stencils on an old-fashioned manual remington typewriter in obsolete teacher's room. forged signature and mimeographed enough for distribution, this was before xeroxing. stuffed 100 staff mailboxes before dawn.