New Friend Request
WELCOME TO THE ROVING CLUBHOUSE. 5/3/12 3:44 PM
Welcome eveyone to the Roving Clubhouse. It's good to see you all.
You can roam around in the clubhouse and gather together with friends, grab a drink or two, munch on the mexican food snacks I made for you, play cards, no gambling though, enter the billiard room, go swimming, or use the sauna, What ever suits your fancy. Just kick back and enjoy yourselves and let loose.
This world is like a rambling bush getting blown away. Just like I will if I drank to much. So, I thought perhaps you would just like to kick back and have a few laughs.
Have at it everybody and enjoy!
JOHNNY PARKS HIS CAR
Little Johnny awoke one night to hear strange noises coming from his parents bedroom. When he opened the door his dad was on his mom naked . He said"Dad what are you and mom doing? His dad told him "I'm parking my car in yours mom's garage. Go back to bed."
Well the next day, the girl next door came over to play with johnny. He said " I have a new game for us to play." what's it called the girl replied . It's called parking the car . Wanna try it he said. Sure said the little girl.
Well Johnny tells her how to play and they get off to a good start. A few minutes later all you can here is little Johnny screaming . His mom rushes into the room and says" what the hell is going on here? . The girl tries her best to explain. She said "You see we were playing park the car and johnny got his car all most all the way in. The back tires wouldnt fit so I cut them off.
FIRST TIME CUSSERS
A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell and you say ass. "OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old,
and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?
"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"
MIKE IS DEAD
Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"
"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"
"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."
"What a horrible way to die!"
"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."
"What a way to go, that's terrible!"
"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."
"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"
"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."
"Man, what a way to go!"
"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."
"Now that is one awful way to go!"
"No no, he survived that..."
"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"
"I shot him!"
"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"
"He was wrecking my house"!
You can roam around in the clubhouse and gather together with friends, grab a drink or two, munch on the mexican food snacks I made for you, play cards, no gambling though, enter the billiard room, go swimming, or use the sauna, What ever suits your fancy. Just kick back and enjoy yourselves and let loose.
This world is like a rambling bush getting blown away. Just like I will if I drank to much. So, I thought perhaps you would just like to kick back and have a few laughs.
Have at it everybody and enjoy!
JOHNNY PARKS HIS CAR
Little Johnny awoke one night to hear strange noises coming from his parents bedroom. When he opened the door his dad was on his mom naked . He said"Dad what are you and mom doing? His dad told him "I'm parking my car in yours mom's garage. Go back to bed."
Well the next day, the girl next door came over to play with johnny. He said " I have a new game for us to play." what's it called the girl replied . It's called parking the car . Wanna try it he said. Sure said the little girl.
Well Johnny tells her how to play and they get off to a good start. A few minutes later all you can here is little Johnny screaming . His mom rushes into the room and says" what the hell is going on here? . The girl tries her best to explain. She said "You see we were playing park the car and johnny got his car all most all the way in. The back tires wouldnt fit so I cut them off.
FIRST TIME CUSSERS
A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell and you say ass. "OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old,
and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?
"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"
MIKE IS DEAD
Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"
"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"
"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."
"What a horrible way to die!"
"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."
"What a way to go, that's terrible!"
"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."
"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"
"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."
"Man, what a way to go!"
"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."
"Now that is one awful way to go!"
"No no, he survived that..."
"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"
"I shot him!"
"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"
"He was wrecking my house"!
what if castro came here? uv gotta be kidding? no seriously, where else would they bring him. not dc at first, he'd be offed in miami. good old liberal san francisco. a surprise "cultural" tour, set against backdrop of dance troupes, global cuisine, lefty plays, and schools, nahhhh couldn't happen!
Quite a story. Obviously not San Franciso for Castro. Wrong place for sure. They probably took to Little Cuba, Havana in Miami as all cubano's are settled there. They call it 8th street. Your principal was a little brain dead, thinking it would be an honor at Lowell! Crazy dude anyway!!!
after carter's election country was abuzz with rumours of a normalization of relations with cuba (after all the president who "could shake your hand and stab you in the back at the same time" had visited china!). was musing about cuba with madcap brill friend bill with the wiry einstein hair.
awwwww dz! not quite the scenario you were fantasizing about on that long bumpy bus ride? but trust one piercing glance from marco soothed the pulsing beast within! nice puddy cat lol! welcome back my friend! you've been missed!
Ditto on that one Dennis. And as for the strange faces, they all went bonkers while you were gone. HA!
Gee,what happened to everyone?I've only been gone a few days and you all look SO different!! Hmmm.....have to come back later and catch up!Will write a blog about my trip...was an ADVENTURE this time.Surprise visit from my in-laws too so after they leave this morning I'll be back.SO GOOD TO BE HOME!
Welcome home Sis: Marcos' gets first dibs w/you, then we'll all flock around you. Boy were you missed! Relax w/hubby, and when the in/law's go, let's hear what you've got to say about the looong ride & fun @ moms. So good to have you back Chula. Love you babe! Sis
Very cute. U just gotta loves those kiddos :--)) Thanks for Sharing, Sharon
So do you want some Cheeeriooos, or play park the car? Just kidding about the parking bit. Out of the mouths of babes. HA!
Boy, I bet you were real fun in school...so entertaining!