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NOT ONLINE ms.lu1919

ms.lu1919 has been a member since 7/27/07 and was last logged in on 10/13/18

WELCOME TO THE ROVING CLUBHOUSE. 5/3/12 3:44 PM

Welcome eveyone to the Roving Clubhouse. It's good to see you all.

You can roam around in the clubhouse and gather together with friends, grab a drink or two, munch on the mexican food snacks I made for you, play cards, no gambling though, enter the billiard room, go swimming, or use the sauna, What ever suits your fancy. Just kick back and enjoy yourselves and let loose.

This world is like a rambling bush getting blown away. Just like I will if I drank to much. So, I thought perhaps you would just like to kick back and have a few laughs.

Have at it everybody and enjoy!


JOHNNY PARKS HIS CAR

Little Johnny awoke one night to hear strange noises coming from his parents bedroom. When he opened the door his dad was on his mom naked . He said"Dad what are you and mom doing? His dad told him "I'm parking my car in yours mom's garage. Go back to bed."

Well the next day, the girl next door came over to play with johnny. He said " I have a new game for us to play." what's it called the girl replied . It's called parking the car . Wanna try it he said. Sure said the little girl.

Well Johnny tells her how to play and they get off to a good start. A few minutes later all you can here is little Johnny screaming . His mom rushes into the room and says" what the hell is going on here? . The girl tries her best to explain. She said "You see we were playing park the car and johnny got his car all most all the way in. The back tires wouldnt fit so I cut them off.

FIRST TIME CUSSERS

A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell and you say ass. "OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.

Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."

WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old,
and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?
"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"

MIKE IS DEAD
Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"
"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."

"What a horrible way to die!"
"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."

"What a way to go, that's terrible!"
"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."
"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"

"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."

"Man, what a way to go!"
"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."

"Now that is one awful way to go!"
"No no, he survived that..."

"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"
"I shot him!"

"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"
"He was wrecking my house"!

Comments

  • DZMXAZ

    I think we will go ask the singer if he can sing solo....so low that we cannot hear him....HA!!

  • DZMXAZ

    CUMBIA!! The party music is getting better,even if the singer is not!! CUMBIA!!

  • DZMXAZ

    Someone down the street is having a party....their singer is really bad,but the music is okay.Saw a funny movie on the bus...don't know how old it is,not very,I don't think...animated,called Rango. The hero was a chameleon...pretty clever story!

  • DZMXAZ

    That ou were the brains behind so many plots in your school? HA!!....And Linda,next CH is still undecided but talks are on the table or in the works or something like that.....so stay tuned!!

  • DZMXAZ

    Well,I'm glad I slept on the bus...am going back and forth with afternoon watering chores at the moment.Maybe i should take another trip and get more sleep?! Been catching up on all that has been going on here in the CH...first of all...Sis,KICK BUTT!! Second...dennis,why am I not surprised that >>>

  • 21balloonz

    DENNIS! Toilet paper abuse is a national disgrace!! Certainly nothing to joke about! LOL, you remember Rosie O'Donnell speaking of how she used only ONE square for her derriere!!? LMAO, who believed that?


    I remember Rosie O'Donnell saying we all should save paper and use one sheet. The woman, or whatever, is out of her mind. I laughed as I thought about all that crap and the smear job she must of had. GROSS! HA! Such a reject!!!