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NOT ONLINE dogs3

dogs3 has been a member since 1/18/06 and was last logged in on 4/16/15

LOL!!! Have a great day and Smile Everyday!!! ♥☺♥ 9/24/09 11:12 PM

Q: Why doesn't a chicken wear pants?
A: Because his pecker is on his head!

Q. What did the penis say to the condom?
A. Cover me im going in!

Q. What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when it hits a windscreen?
A. It's arse!

Q. What does a guy and a car have in common?
A. They both have the ability to misfire.

Q. Why do men get their great ideas in bed?
A. Because their plugged into a genius!

Q. What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?
A. If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts!


Q. Why dont blind men skydive?
A. Because it scares the shit out of the dog



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A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good," says the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son says, "Why are you so weak?"
"Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
"That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"
The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."

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When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her that her check came back, she replied, "So did my arthritis."

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A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

Little Johnny then stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

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Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee. Just as they got into the ¡¡¡¡cafe, it started to rain. The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go ¡¡¡¡home and get the umbrella." ¡¡¡¡¡¡ The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my coffee." ¡¡¡¡¡¡ "We won't," the other two promised. ¡¡¡¡¡¡ Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he ¡¡¡¡isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee." ¡¡¡¡¡¡ Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."

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A serious drunk walked into a bar and ,after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar,walked over to her and kissed her.She jumped up and slapped him silly.He immediately apologized and explained,"I'm sorry . I thought you were my wife.You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless ,insufferable,wretched,no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered,"you even sound exactly like her."


Comments

  • freshprincez84

    hahaha ... really funny u lol. i like all these ! u brighten may day ;)

  • snapeswidow

    lol. these are great.