imemine has been a member since 4/6/07 and was last logged in on 8/27/21
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About me
When a woman asks you "What ???".... Its not because we didnt hear you. Its because we want to give you a chance to change your answer ;)
We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where:
:) means a smile and
:( is a frown.
Well, how about some "ASS-ICONS?"
This is a GUARANTEED laugh.
Here goes:
(_!_) a regular ass ,
(__!__) a fat ass,
(!) a tight ass,
(_*_) a sore ass,
{_!_} a swishy ass,
(_o_) an ass that's been around,
(_x_) kiss my ass,
(_X_) leave my ass alone,
(_zzz_) a tired ass,
(_E=mc2_) a smart ass,
(_$_) Money coming out of his ass, and last but not least,
(_?_) Dumb Ass YOU HAVE JUST BEEN E'MOONED!!!
Another bit of wisdom...
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of
me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty
much leave me alone.
2 The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a
leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn , so if you're going to steal your
neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be
promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of
car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their
shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you
have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed...... skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to
fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
12. Some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield.
13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put back in your pocket.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark
side, and it holds the universe together.
17. There are two theories to arguing with a women - Neither one works.
18. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are
moving.
19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night.