New Friend Request
WELCOME TO THE ROVING CLUBHOUSE. 5/3/12 3:44 PM
Welcome eveyone to the Roving Clubhouse. It's good to see you all.
You can roam around in the clubhouse and gather together with friends, grab a drink or two, munch on the mexican food snacks I made for you, play cards, no gambling though, enter the billiard room, go swimming, or use the sauna, What ever suits your fancy. Just kick back and enjoy yourselves and let loose.
This world is like a rambling bush getting blown away. Just like I will if I drank to much. So, I thought perhaps you would just like to kick back and have a few laughs.
Have at it everybody and enjoy!
JOHNNY PARKS HIS CAR
Little Johnny awoke one night to hear strange noises coming from his parents bedroom. When he opened the door his dad was on his mom naked . He said"Dad what are you and mom doing? His dad told him "I'm parking my car in yours mom's garage. Go back to bed."
Well the next day, the girl next door came over to play with johnny. He said " I have a new game for us to play." what's it called the girl replied . It's called parking the car . Wanna try it he said. Sure said the little girl.
Well Johnny tells her how to play and they get off to a good start. A few minutes later all you can here is little Johnny screaming . His mom rushes into the room and says" what the hell is going on here? . The girl tries her best to explain. She said "You see we were playing park the car and johnny got his car all most all the way in. The back tires wouldnt fit so I cut them off.
FIRST TIME CUSSERS
A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell and you say ass. "OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old,
and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?
"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"
MIKE IS DEAD
Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"
"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"
"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."
"What a horrible way to die!"
"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."
"What a way to go, that's terrible!"
"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."
"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"
"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."
"Man, what a way to go!"
"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."
"Now that is one awful way to go!"
"No no, he survived that..."
"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"
"I shot him!"
"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"
"He was wrecking my house"!
You can roam around in the clubhouse and gather together with friends, grab a drink or two, munch on the mexican food snacks I made for you, play cards, no gambling though, enter the billiard room, go swimming, or use the sauna, What ever suits your fancy. Just kick back and enjoy yourselves and let loose.
This world is like a rambling bush getting blown away. Just like I will if I drank to much. So, I thought perhaps you would just like to kick back and have a few laughs.
Have at it everybody and enjoy!
JOHNNY PARKS HIS CAR
Little Johnny awoke one night to hear strange noises coming from his parents bedroom. When he opened the door his dad was on his mom naked . He said"Dad what are you and mom doing? His dad told him "I'm parking my car in yours mom's garage. Go back to bed."
Well the next day, the girl next door came over to play with johnny. He said " I have a new game for us to play." what's it called the girl replied . It's called parking the car . Wanna try it he said. Sure said the little girl.
Well Johnny tells her how to play and they get off to a good start. A few minutes later all you can here is little Johnny screaming . His mom rushes into the room and says" what the hell is going on here? . The girl tries her best to explain. She said "You see we were playing park the car and johnny got his car all most all the way in. The back tires wouldnt fit so I cut them off.
FIRST TIME CUSSERS
A 6-year-old and a 4-year-old are upstairs in their bedroom. "You know what?" says the 6-year-old. "I think it's about time we start cussing." The 4-year-old nods his head in approval. The 6-year-old continues. "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm going to say hell and you say ass. "OK!" The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
Their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6-year-old what he wants for breakfast. "Aw hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear every step. The mom locks him in his room and shouts "You can just stay there till I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4-year-old,
and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast young man?
"I don't know," he blubbers, "But you can bet your ass it won't be Cheerios!"
MIKE IS DEAD
Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"
"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"
"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."
"What a horrible way to die!"
"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."
"What a way to go, that's terrible!"
"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."
"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"
"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."
"Man, what a way to go!"
"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."
"Now that is one awful way to go!"
"No no, he survived that..."
"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"
"I shot him!"
"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"
"He was wrecking my house"!
Good night everyone....see you in a few hours at my place!! Big hugs to you,Sis...and as always lots of energy from Mexico,the land of tu corazon!!
Mi corazon esta con mi hermanita en Mexico. Gracias por las mensajes. Estoy dispierta ahorita y te doy gracias por todo. Necessito chocolate para dispiertar bien. Que Diosito te quieda y bendiga. Tu herman major, La Polaca.
I am a tad late. But you are my first neighborhood clubhouse I have visited. :) Barely keep up with the challies! Happy Mother's Day Luisa! You have given so much of yourself to your kids. I can feel it. Hugs!
I'm glad you found this clubhouse blog Sanbie. Hope you had a laugh or two. OMGosh, 7 children & grandchildren & great grandchildten called me from all over USA. I'm telling you girl I got telephoneitis. But loved every minute of it.
checking in dear luisa as our mother's day celebrations draw to a close. uv been a fabulous hostess, free-spirited and carefree. which makes it a tad easier to apologize for being such a blog hog lol! xx
Oh Dennis, you were a riot. I loved every minute of it & your rootin-tootin comments too. Check you later on the new channel. Stay cool. You rock dude!!!
What a fun time I have had here at the clubhouse! You done good girl!
You made me laugh so hard Renie, almost pee'd my pants. A highlight you are. Glad you liked it Geogia peach...
I"m so relieved to know you're ok.....sorry I was absent for your return home...and HAPPY MOTHER"S DAY Luisa!! You've gotten over 100 comments/visitors galore..and did the Clubhouse GOOD!!!! THANKS so much for taking it on....WHat a GREAT hostess you've been!! Chocolate please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ♥♥♥♥♥
I loved every minute of it Barb. So glad you started the ball rolling. Now, as for the chocolate. Woman, c'mon over, Got it all served up for you. Hot fudge sundae, w/chocolate ice cream, chocolate syrup, and of course the strawberries, nuts & whipped cream. Hurry though, before it melts. xxxx
Farewell, sweet Luisa! Happy Mother's Day to all! LOL, I've managed to call most of my family and start their day with a gut-wrenching belly laugh, so my work there is done... Ah, the clubhouse is too cool at times!!
Adios mi muy estimado amigo. Feliz Dia de Madres a tu esposa tambien. You are such a cool dude. Loved all the humor you brought here and to my life. Hasta luego, y que Diosito te bendiga. How's that for La Polaca trying to spell in Espanol. Luisa aka/La Polaca